10 Marriage tips you need know

1. Surprises
A marriage can easily slip into a rut of banality and predictability. The secret of a long, happy married life is freshness. You need to make a real effort to maintain at least some of the excitement you had when you first got together. And one of the best ways of doing so is to continually surprise each other. Anything unexpected, that breaks your daily routine is ideal. Don’t wait for birthdays or anniversaries to do something nice for the one you love.

2. Take a break from the kids
You may love your kids with all your heart, and be willing to do anything for them, but sometimes you and your husband need time away from them. When you have children, your life changes dramatically. You find yourself with very little time or energy fir marriage. But it is important to occasionally take a break from your kids to give your marriage a much needed shot in the arm. Go away for the weekend or even just one night-anything that provides the quality time alone that your marriage has been so missing.

3. Do it his way
Many modern women are so dominant and empowered, that their husbands are forced to take a back seat. In certain situations, this isn’t a problem. Most men do like to take things easy so the less they need to think about the better. However, sometimes even men need to feel valued and, to a large extent, in charge. After all, they are traditionally the hunter/gatherer the stronger species. So every so often, let your husband take control. Give him the reigns and do things his way.

4. Support his interests
As tempting as it is to be disparaging about your husband’s hobbies, you must resist the urge. It doesn’t matter whether it’s playing squash or collecting football memorabilia be supportive and respectful not critical and judgmental. The bottom line is that it makes him happy. And remember, if you have a happy husband you’re half way to a happy marriage.

5. Pick your battles
If you wage war on every little dispute or disagreement, your marriage will be over before you know it. Pick your battles. Don’t fight over silly little things that are of no real consequence. If an issue is important to your spouse and you’re really not bothered, let him have his own way. Not only will you avoid an unnecessary fight but you will show him that sometimes you value his feelings more than your own. If he is a man worth staying with, he will return the favour when the tables are reversed. The end result is dramatically fewer fights and a noticeably happier marriage.

6. Get out of the rut.
Human beings are creatures of habit. The more we do something the less likely we are do anything else. We are susceptible to falling into a rut which we often struggle to get out of. And there are few ruts as deep as a married one. After a while, your relationship can slowly drift into a monotonous cycle where the days seem to blend into one. A happy, vibrant marriage is almost impossible to maintain in these circumstances. So get out your ladder and climb on out of that rut. Try something new; change your routine-anything to add some much needed fresh impetus to your relationship.

7. Start the day with a kiss
Too many couples have no physical contact in the mornings before they each go their separate ways for the day. Bodily contact is an essential part of any marriage. It’s all to easy to slip into a routine of never having any except when you’re having sex. So before you leave the house in the morning, share a little kiss. It doesn’t need to be long, passionate snog but it should be more than a quick peck on the cheek. It’s kiss to say ‘’I love you’’ so put some feeling into it. Not only, is it pleasurable but it helps reaffirms your unity every morning of the week.

8. You’re a team
A marriage is a partnership. A man and a woman coming together to form one entity, one team. Your life becomes entwined with that of your spouse and therefore so does your feelings and ultimately your level of happiness. Although it’s important to retain some sense of independence, you must work together in all aspects of life. As soon as you stop helping and supporting one another, cracks will begin to appear. The longer this goes on, the deeper the cracks become until the damage becomes irreparable.

9. Reassurance
Doubts and insecurities can creep into your mind at any given time. Nobody is immune from these negative thoughts, and that includes your husband. Sometimes we need to be told, ‘’everything is going to be alright’’ and who better to tell you than your partner. Reassurance from the one you love can feel like a warm blanket being wrapped around your shoulders on a cold day. It provides a feeling of safety and security and immediately sets to work expelling those negative thoughts from your head.

10. Think before you speak
So many martial arguments could be avoided if we just took a moment to think before we spoke. Blurting out whatever pops into your head will only cause problems. Take a moment to think, ‘’Do I really need to moan about that?’’ or ‘’How can I phrase this in a non confrontational way?’’A little bit of tact and common sense can really make all the difference. Remember, engage your brain before you loose with your tongue.


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101 Romantic Ideas

IDEA # 1
If your partner is going away for a few days, tell her that you are worried about her so you have organized a bodyguard to look after her. Then give her a small teddy bear.


IDEA # 2
Buy a packet of glow in the dark stars and stick the stars on the roof above your bed to spell out a message such as "I Love You" When the lights go down, your message will be revealed!


IDEA # 3
On a special occasion, buy your partner eleven real red roses and one artificial red rose. Place the artificial rose in the center of the bouquet. Attach a card that says: “I will love you until the last rose fades.”


IDEA # 4
Buy the domain name of your partner's name if it is available for example www.TanyaJohnston.com. Create a web page containing a romantic poem and a picture of a rose. When your partner is surfing the web, casually ask whether she has ever checked to see whether her domain name is taken. Let her type it in to discover her page.


IDEA # 5
Buy a stylish hand mirror and give it to your partner as a gift. Include a card in the box saying “In this mirror you will see the image of the most beautiful woman in the world.”


IDEA # 6
Take a book that your partner is reading and using a pencil, underline letters in a section of the book she has yet to read to spell out a love letter. For example in the following exert from a novel, the underlined letters come together to spell out the secret message "I love you"

The palace was a labyrinth, their passage through it tortuous and interminable. Initially they passed from building to building under the sodden sky. Steve's feet ached; he might have laughed at himself, the tireless traveller, grown too soft from his months in the city to walk any proper distance. Abruptly the guards halted.
The underlined letters will make your partner curious and with a bit of luck she will write them down. Spend time to encode a proper message.


IDEA # 7
Have flowers delivered to your partner's workplace. She will not only enjoy the flowers but will also receive comments and attention from her office mates which will add to her enjoyment.


IDEA # 8
While walking with your partner on a weekend getaway, pick up a smooth stone and say that you're going to keep it as a special memento of your trip. Later, have a message such as "I Love Rebecca" engraved into the stone by a jeweller and give it to your partner.


IDEA # 9
Drive into the country, find a grassy hill and lie with your partner and look up at the clouds. Play the kid’s game of looking for shapes in the cloud formations.


IDEA # 10
Get a piece of paper and some crayons. Draw a bright childlike picture with a smiley sun and two stick figures holding hands. Add labels with your two names pointing to the stick figures. Write "I Love You" inside a heart.
Next get a large formal envelope. Place your drawing inside and type up a formal address label of your partner's work such as:

For the immediate and urgent attention of: Rebecca Jones
Level 20 Collins & Smith Solicitors New York
Mail it to your partner so she receives it in the middle of a busy day.


IDEA # 11
If your partner has to work late, take a lunch box and fill it with some of her favourite things such as chocolates, herbal tea, cookies, a small teddy bear. Next, get a piece of paper and write "Michelle's Late Night Survival Pack" Draw a big red cross below this and stick the paper to the top of the box. Tell your partner to open the box when things get really tough.


IDEA # 12
If you are walking by a park, visit the swings and give your partner a ride. This will often bring back happy memories from her childhood.


IDEA # 13
Leave a long stem rose where your partner will find it with a note on it saying: "Thank you for coming into my life."


IDEA # 14
If your partner is starting a new job, buy a copy of "The Sound Of Music" sound track. Tape the song, "I Have Confidence" onto a tape and add your own message at the end of the song saying, "Good Luck honey, I have confidence in you." Give the tape to your partner to play on the way to work in the car.


IDEA # 15
Buy a small decorated cardboard box, a sheet of colored tissue paper, some massage oil and a blank card. Line the box with the tissue paper. Place the massage oil in the box and write the following message on the card: I know a great Masseur. For an appointment ring: (Your Phone Number)


IDEA # 16
When your spouse has had a really long hard day, run a hot bath for her. Pour some fragrant bath oil into the tub and gently bathe her from head to toe. Carry her into the bedroom. Gently towel her dry and tuck her into a freshly made bed with a kiss on the forehead.


IDEA # 17
For this idea you will need a portable CD player. If you and your partner have a favourite song, get a copy of it on CD and take it with you when you go away for a romantic weekend. When you are in a romantic spot, ask your partner if she would like to dance. Place one earpiece in her ear and one in your own and enjoy your private dance floor.

This technique is particularly effective if the romantic spot you have chosen is somewhere where people would not normally dance, for example, the top of the Empire State building at sunset or on top of a mountain during a camping trip.


IDEA # 18
If your partner has a pet that she adores, at Christmas, in addition to buying a gift for your partner, buy a small present for her pet.


IDEA # 19
Go for a walk on the beach. Trace out the shape of a large love heart in the sand. Sit inside the heart and cuddle your partner as you watch the sun go down.


IDEA # 20
Invite your partner to go for a walk. Get a back pack and pack the following items: A picnic blanket, a selection of fruit in small containers e.g. strawberries, grapes, watermelon and kiwi fruit. Some cheese and crackers. Some sandwiches. A small tin of caviar.

A half bottle of champagne and two plastic champagne glasses. If your partner asks what's in the backpack, just say a jacket and some lunch. When you find a romantic spot, ask if she would like to stop for a bite to eat. Open your pack and remove the items one by one to set up your picnic. The last item you remove should be the glasses and champagne.


IDEA # 21
If you play a musical instrument, create a romantic environment in which to play for your partner. For example, let's say you play the saxophone. Contact your partner's roommate and arrange for her to make sure that your partner steps out onto the balcony of their apartment at exactly 9.30pm.

Drive to her apartment and set up before hand. Place a large sparkler in the music holder of your sax and light it as your partner steps on to the balcony. Play something slow and romantic.


IDEA # 22
Use this idea if your partner is going to work and you are staying at home for some reason (Perhaps you are sick or are working from home). Say goodbye to her at the front door and then immediately send an email to her work address. The email should simply say, "Miss you already". The email will be in her in-box when she does her morning email check.


IDEA # 23
If your partner has long hair, take the time to brush it using long slow strokes. This is particularly effective after she has had a shower or when she is getting ready for bed.


IDEA # 24
On a special occasion like your partner's birthday, plan a treasure hunt for her. The fun begins when you suggest going for a walk on the beach.
When you get to the beach, carry a small bag with you. The bag contains a bottle that you prepared earlier. Inside the bottle is a treasure map. To make the treasure map look authentic, burn the edges with a match.

As you are walking, slip the bottle out of your bag and let it drop to the sand near the water's edge. You may have to pause and kiss your partner to do this unnoticed. Walk a little further up the beach then turn around and retrace your steps to 'discover' the bottle.

On the map have a dotted line leading from the beach to a nearby cafe. At the cafe, your partner won't know what to look for so suggest that you just sit down and have a cup of coffee.
When the waitress delivers the coffee, she suggests to your partner that she might find what she is looking for under the coaster. When your partner turns over the coaster she finds a key taped to the bottom. Obviously you will have to set this up before hand with the waitress. Most waitresses will be happy to help a romantic guy out with this type of thing.

At the next stop on the map, your partner finds or is given a spade. Then at the last stop on the map your partner finds a large 'X' made up of two crossed sticks. She digs and discovers a locked box. The key unlocks the box to reveal her present.


IDEA # 25
Invite your partner on a date by sending her a plain brown envelope containing a tape. On the tape, record the Mission Impossible sound track and then record yourself saying, “Your mission if you choose to accept it is to make your way to Café Venoli, 123 Park Lane at 18.30 Eastern Standard Time.

There you will rendezvous with a stunningly attractive man wearing a red carnation. The future of the free world is now in your hands. This tape will self destruct in five seconds.” Then record ten beeps from a stopwatch and record yourself saying, “Would you believe ten seconds…” It’s corny but it usually gets a laugh!


IDEA # 26
Contact your partner's family and ask if there was anything she always wanted when she was a little girl. For example if she always wanted a porcelain doll, buy one for her birthday. She will not only appreciate the gift but also the fact that you were thoughtful enough to find out what she always wanted.


IDEA # 27
Organize a professional photo shoot to obtain a portrait of the two of you as a couple. Frame the picture and put it somewhere prominent. Remember to make sure you give your partner plenty of notice so that she can get ready.


IDEA # 28
Write a note saying "I thought of you today, and it made me smile." Leave the note somewhere where your partner is sure to find it.


IDEA # 29
For Valentines Day, buy your partner a charm bracelet with at least 14 charms. Remove all the charms and let your partner 'find' one charm each day for the first fourteen days of February. On Valentines Day give her the bracelet and any remaining charms.


IDEA # 30
When you and your partner are in a shopping centre or airport, stop at one of those booths that allow you to take an instant photo and print them out as stickers. Choose a romantic background and kiss your partner while the photo is being taken.


IDEA # 31
If your partner has voice mail at work or on her mobile, leave a message saying "Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you." She will appreciate this anytime but especially when she is going through a rough period.


IDEA # 32
Organize a mystery trip for you and your partner. Some travel agents will organize mystery packages where the destination of the trip is kept secret until you are actually on the plane or arrive at the destination.


IDEA # 33
Buy some rose petals and place them behind the sun visor on the passenger side of your car. Take a post it note and write, "I Love You" on it and stick it to the back of the sun visor. As you are driving to a romantic destination, look at your partner and tell her she has a mark on her cheek. She will pull down the sun visor to use the mirror and be showered in rose petals and see your note.


IDEA # 34
If your partner is going on a trip, pack a small present into the corner of her suitcase that she will find when she is away.


IDEA # 35
When you and your partner are having an anniversary, buy two champagne glasses and get them engraved with your names and the date, for example:

Mal and Kate
7 May 2002
Go to the restaurant where you have made your reservations and request that when you and your partner arrive that your champagne be served in your special glasses. This will be a great surprise for your partner and a wonderful keepsake for you both.


IDEA # 36
On a special occasion such as your partner's birthday, buy twenty-four red roses. Arrange to meet her at a specific spot in a shopping mall before going out for dinner. Get to the shopping mall early and position yourself around the corner from your meeting spot.

Ask a guy who is walking by whether he would mind helping you out. Give him a rose, point out your partner and ask him to walk up to her and say, "Happy Birthday Meagan" and give her the rose and then walk away. Repeat this with eleven other guys.

Choose guys who are not too good looking and choose guys of different ages. A nice touch is to have the last rose delivered by a small child who could even by accompanied by his parents.
After the first twelve flowers have been delivered, approach your partner with the twelve remaining roses.


IDEA # 37
Always listen for things that your partner reminisces about and jot them down somewhere. For example, perhaps she talks about the ice cream that she had from a particular shop when she was a little girl.
When a special occasion comes along, check your list of things that your partner talks about and try to recreate one of them, for example, visit the shop and buy a tub of ice cream making sure that the name of the shop is on the container.


IDEA # 38
Create a love montage by collecting some photographs of you and your partner, some ticket stubs of places you have visited and any other small odds and ends that have special meaning to you both.
Take these items and get them professionally framed in a three dimensional montage. Alternatively, buy a frame and create a simple montage yourself.


IDEA # 39
Buy an ornately carved wooden box which is lined with green or red felt. Find an old fashioned key and place it in the box.
Next, get a small gold plaque and have it engraved with the words ‘The Key To My Heart’

Fix the plaque to the inside of the top of the box so that it can be read when the box is opened.


IDEA # 40
Buy a tree with your partner and plant it in a special spot. Each year on your anniversary, have a glass of champagne next to your tree and talk about how your love and the tree have grown.


IDEA # 41
If you shower first in the morning. Steam up the bathroom and write a message such as "Pete Loves Kathy" on the mirror for your partner to read when she uses the bathroom. This also works on car windows when it's cold.


IDEA # 42
As a special gift, name a Star after your partner. A number of astronomical agencies allow individuals to name stars and you receive formal documentation identifying the star that you have named.


IDEA # 43
Find a comic strip that relates to something that you and your partner have shared together, for example perhaps you both work in the same office and you find a Dilbert cartoon that relates to the politics at your workplace.
Enlarge the cartoon using a photocopier and use white-out to cover the cartoon text.

Type up your own texts that relates to you and your partner and paste it in the appropriate places and then photocopy the cartoon again so that it looks like your text was the actual text of the cartoon. For an added touch, get your customized cartoon laminated before giving it to your partner.


IDEA # 44
When you and your partner are enjoying a restful time away, organize to wake up early one morning and go to a scenic spot to watch the sun rise. This may seem difficult but it is something which is definitely worth doing at least once. Seeing a new day being born is something really special to share with your partner.


IDEA # 45
When you have access to a spa, create a romantic atmosphere by placing some candles around the tub and some rose petals floating on the surface of the water. As your partner enjoys the water, serve champagne and chocolate covered strawberries before joining her.


IDEA # 46
Create some love coupons that your partner can exchange for romantic favors. For example you could have a coupon that reads

This coupon entitles the bearer to:
One Foot Massage.
Use by 07/08/2045
Use a date many years in the future if you want to suggest that you and your partner will always be together.


IDEA # 47
On a warm summer night, organize a backyard picnic. Spread a picnic blanket on the ground and get together some snacks, chocolates and champagne. Lie down on the blanket with your partner and gaze up at the stars together.


IDEA # 48
Next time it is raining really heavily, go for a walk with your partner. Forget the umbrellas and the raincoats. Run through the streets together, jump in puddles and get totally saturated.
Pick her up, twirl her around and kiss her while the rain falls. Taste the water off her face and hold her close. When you get back home have a hot shower and then share a warm drink preferably in front of an open fire.


IDEA # 49
Organize a hot air ballooning trip as a special surprise. Most trips begin with a glass of champagne before you float over the countryside with your partner.


IDEA # 50
When your partner is sitting at a table or desk, come up behind him or her and give her a back, shoulder and head massage. Finish with a gentle kiss on the cheek.


IDEA # 51
Place an ad in the paper on a normal day saying something like:

Dear Amanda,
With you by my side, everyday
feels like Valentines Day.
Thank you for being you.
Love,
Graham


IDEA # 52
Buy a book that you and your partner are both interested in reading. Read one chapter each night in bed with each of you taking turns to read out loud. This can be a great alternative to television


IDEA # 53
When your partner is having a shower or bath, take her towel and place it in the dryer to make it really warm and then wrap her up in it when she is done.

IDEA # 54
Memorize one of Shakespeare's love sonnets and recite it to your partner when you are in a romantic setting like a botanical garden. Don't just suddenly start reciting poetry as this will just sound corny.

While you are cuddling your partner, ask in a joking manner, "So is now a good time to recite a love poem to you?" She will probably say yes, expecting you to come up with something of the "Roses are Red..." variety. Instead, look into her eyes, smile and recite the sonnet while you gently stroke her face. Try the sonnet below. If this is too long, just memorize the first four lines and the last two.

Shakespeare Love Sonnet 18
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed,
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimmed.
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest,
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st.
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.



IDEA # 55
Photocopy your hand and fax a copy of it to your partner with a message saying, "Do ya wanna hold hands?"


IDEA # 56
Next time you order a pizza, ask to have it cut into a heart shape before it is delivered to your home.


IDEA # 57
Buy a box of chocolates and very carefully open one side of the plastic wrap so that you can gently slide the box out. Open the box and place a love note inside. Then slide the box back into its plastic wrap and reseal it.


IDEA # 58
Rent a tandem bike and go for a ride with your partner. At the end of your ride have a picnic in the park.


IDEA # 59
If you are away on a business trip, document a day in your life for your partner.

For example:
'A Day In The Life Of Mark'
6am: Just woke up and thought of you - Wish you were laying next to me. Well, I better get ready for work.
7am: Am on the train. It's crowded; everyone looks like they are half dead. I miss ya heaps.
8.30am: Have just organized my day, it's going to be a busy one.
9.30am: Am in the middle of a really boring meeting. I am trying to concentrate on this months sales figures but I keep thinking of your beautiful eyes.
...
6.30pm: Thank goodness the day is over. I am counting the days until we’re together again.
Send your letter to your partner. This is a wonderful way to tell your partner how often you think about her during the day and to share your life with her in a special way.


IDEA # 60
Speak to your partner's family and find out what her favourite book was when she was a little girl.
Buy a copy of the book and read it to her in bed.


IDEA # 61
Write an email story with your partner. Start the ball rolling with an email that says something like:

Chapter 1:
This is the story of Pete and Kate who met at a friend's engagement party one summer afternoon.
The email can then continue to develop the beginnings of a story which can be completely fictitious or a combination of fiction and reality.
Finish your email by saying, "And now for Chapter 2, its over to you..."


IDEA # 62
Buy a kite and on a windy day find a park and fly the kite with your partner.
If you can afford it, buy a large kite that you control with two hand lines. These kites are great fun.


IDEA # 63
When you and your partner are planning to go out for dinner, suggest that you have an 'Adventure Dinner'. Here's how it works
Set the timer on your stopwatch to count down twenty minutes. Next, ask your partner to choose a number between 5 and 10. Lets say she chooses 7.
Give your partner a coin and tell her that at every 7th intersection, she has to flip the coin.

If it is heads you will turn left. If it is tails you will turn right. When your watch timer goes off you have to both keep a look out for the nearest place to eat.
This is a fun way to get out and about and try new places to eat.


IDEA # 64
When you and your partner are going somewhere special, get your camera, buy a new roll of film and wait for her to come out of the house.
When she appears, act like a professional photographer and go wild taking pictures of her with the flash.

While you are taking photos, bombard her with questions as though she was a famous actress and you are trying to get a scoop for the magazine you represent. Not only is this fun but you will also get some great photos to look back on together.


IDEA # 65
When your partner is sick at home, take a day off to look after her.
Rent some videos, make her some soup, wrap her up in a blanket and just be with her.


IDEA # 66
When you are having dinner one night, ask your partner about the things she has always wanted to do.
Later on, write these things down so you don't forget them and over time try and help make them happen. For example she may say that one thing she has always wanted to do is swim with dolphins. Find out where she can do this and organize it for her as a special surprise.


IDEA # 67
Rent the video, "An Affair To Remember". Buy some popcorn, champagne and chocolate covered strawberries and have a special film night at home.


IDEA # 68
Go to the drive in but instead of sitting in the car, spread a picnic blanket on the ground. Light a candle and buy popcorn. Cuddle your partner and enjoy the film.


IDEA # 69
Create a personalized magazine cover for your partner. To do this, get hold of a good quality photo of her and a copy of a popular entertainment magazine.
Take these two items to a print shop or graphic design agency. Ask them to scan your partner's photo and develop a magazine cover with the lead story being, "The 30 most beautiful women of 2003".

When you get the cover, stick it on the front of a real magazine and ask your local shop owner whether you can place it in the magazine rack. Organize to meet your partner at the shop before going out. When she arrives, tell her that you are just looking for a magazine. Let her browse the rack and discover her magazine.


IDEA # 70
Fill the trunk of your car with helium balloons. Drive to a romantic spot in the country to go for a walk. The ideal spot is somewhere up high with a clear view of the surrounding countryside.

Get out of the car and act as though you are about to set off for your walk. Make sure your partner is closer to the car than you and then throw her the keys and ask if she can get your jacket from the trunk while you tie your shoelace.
When she opens the boot the balloons will be released. You can also place a sign saying, "I Love You" on the inside of the trunk so that it will be revealed when the trunk opens.


IDEA # 71
On a special occasion create a unique present for your partner by buying two white t-shirts and some fabric paint. Draw half a heart and the letters LO on one t-shirt and the half a heart and the letters VE on the other t-shirt. When you walk down the street holding each other close, the heart will be made whole and your message of love revealed.
An example is shown below.


IDEA # 72
On a hot summer day, buy two large water pistols and take them to the beach with you. Pull them out and throw one to your partner and then have a huge water fight.


IDEA # 73
Share your food with your partner. When you go out for a meal, hold a forkful up to her mouth and say, "You've got to try this."Sharing your food and even feeding each other is a great way to become closer as a couple.


IDEA # 74
Compliment your partner in public. If you are talking in a group and it is appropriate to the conversation say something like, "Kate makes the most incredible roast." Squeeze her hand while you are talking about her.


IDEA # 75
Arrange a special day off from work. Start with breakfast, go for a walk in the park, go shopping, have afternoon tea in a cozy cafe and finish off with a romantic dinner.


IDEA # 76
Buy a gift voucher for a facial at a local beauty clinic and place it in a card accompanied by the message,

A special treat for
someone special


IDEA # 77
Even if you are just going down the road to buy some milk, act as though you are returning home after a major adventure.
Say something like, "Well it was touch and go there for a while with the snow and the wolves but I made it!" and then give your partner a huge bear hug.


IDEA # 78
Send your partner a thank-you note. For example:
Dear Bec,
Thanks for helping me move house.
Having you there made a huge difference.
I really appreciate your help and your love.
Tim


IDEA # 79
If you have kids, organize for them to stay at their grandparents for the weekend.
On Friday evening, announce that the weekend is yours and start planning how you are going to spend your special time together.


IDEA # 80
Give your partner a magic gift box. Every month, place a new small gift in the box for her to discover.


IDEA # 81
Research your partner's favorite hobby and identify a gift that is really useful for her. The more specialized the gift the more impact it will have. Talk to her friends and family and use the Net to find the information you need.


IDEA # 82
Go to a masquerade ball. Send an invitation to your partner telling her to meet you at a specific spot at the stroke of eight.
Wear a mask and when you meet her, don't say a word. Just take her hand and lead her on to the dance floor.


IDEA # 83
On Thursday, ask your partner to pack a bag for the weekend. Tell her she'll need casual clothes and walking shoes but don't tell her what you have got planned.
Pick her up after work on Friday and drive to a romantic bed and breakfast for a romantic weekend of relaxation.


IDEA # 84
When you are relaxing at home one night, take two large sheets of paper and some pencils or crayons. On each piece of paper, draw the outline of a large crystal ball sitting on a stand.
Tell your partner to look into her crystal ball and draw what she sees five years in the future. Do the same thing yourself and then come together to share and discuss your drawings.


IDEA # 85
Create a loving nickname for your partner. This could be the name she was called by her family when she was a little girl or something that is special just for the two of you.


IDEA # 86
If you are musically inclined, write a love song for your partner. Call it something like "Natasha's Song".
Produce a professional looking manuscript, print it out and get it framed. Record your song onto CD and take a photo of your partner and get a print shop to create a CD cover if you can’t create one on your computer.
Place the framed manuscript and the CD in a box and give it to your partner as a special gift.


IDEA # 87
Pick your partner up for a date and blindfold her before driving to a special destination.
Try to make the destination something really unexpected like a table set up at the top of a cliff or a dinner on a boat or old-fashioned ship. It needs to be something that will have an impact when she removes the blindfold.


IDEA # 88
Have a really big pillow fight. Set up for it by buying two pillows that are filled with feathers. Put holes in the pillows so the feathers will start to fly and then attack your partner when you feel the time is right.


IDEA # 89
Get out into the great outdoors. After a day of hiking, build an open fire. Sit by the fire with your partner, toast marshmallows and watch as the embers of the fire climb into the night sky.


IDEA # 90
If your partner uses a computer, take a photo of the two of you and get it scanned at a print shop (or scan it at home) and store it on disk as a .bmp file.
Transfer the file onto your partner's computer and set the image as the computer's wallpaper.
To do this on a Windows machine, select Start / Settings / Control Panel / Display. Choose the Background tab and click the Browse button to find your .bmp file.


IDEA # 91
If you are artistically inclined, do a life drawing course, practice until you are confident and then ask your partner to pose for you.


IDEA # 92
Take your partner to a carnival or festival. Try the following:
(1) Food festival
(2) Jazz festival
(3) Wine festival
(4) Music festival


IDEA # 93
Develop a video time capsule. Start with the two of you sitting together on a couch introducing the video. Say something like, "It is currently July 14th 2002. We have decided to make this video so that we can watch it together on our 25th wedding anniversary."

Then have a section where you talk to the camera by yourself, telling the camera how you feel about your partner and why you love her. Get her to do the same thing. When you are done, place the video in a bank vault and on your 25th wedding anniversary you will be able to look back in time and reminisce about everything that you have shared.


IDEA # 94
If you are in a secluded spot near a beach or lake and the weather is warm, go for an impromptu skinny dip with your partner.


IDEA # 95
This one is great for long distance relationships. It takes a bit of organization but if you can pull it off, it is sure to be a surprise that your partner will never forget. Organize to catch up with her regularly over the internet using either a chat room or an Instant Messenger program. Then arrange a secret trip to meet her without telling her that you’re coming.

When it comes time for your usual chat over the Net, arrange for a close friend back home to log on using your nickname while you position yourself outside her door. Phone your friend on your mobile and be speaking to him in real time. Tell him to type in the following sentence, “I really miss you honey, I wish I could be there and just reach out and knock on your door.” As soon as he has sent the message, knock on the door!


IDEA # 96
Buy your partner a gold fish in a bowl and give it to her with a card saying,
“Of all the fish in the sea,
you're the fish for me!”


IDEA # 97
Go for a drive either early in the morning or at dusk. Get a CD/tape that contains sounds of nature such as Sounds Of the Rainforest and play it as you hold your partner's hand and drive.


IDEA # 98
The day before your partner's birthday buy some helium balloons, streamers and flowers and hide them in a closet.
When your partner has fallen asleep, string the streamers around the room and bring out the balloons and flowers. Place them around the bed so that your partner wakes up to a real birthday surprise.


IDEA # 99
Spend a leisurely afternoon with your partner in a large book shop such as Borders where you can browse the shelves, share a coffee and sit down to peruse your purchases.


IDEA # 100
If you can afford it, hire a sports car for a weekend. Pick up your partner and give her a long white cashmere scarf to wear with her sunglasses. Go for a drive along the coast with the top down.


IDEA # 101
Serve your partner breakfast in bed. Try the following:
(1) A poached egg in the shape of a heart - you can pick up a heart shaped poacher at most shops that sell kitchen wares.
(2) French toast with cinnamon and maple syrup.
(3) Cereal.
(4) Fruit juice.
(5) A fresh flower.

101 Romantic Ideas
Hundreds of fun, creative, inventive and wild tips to spice things up. Written in Michael’s typical, classy style – none of the material is raunchy, immoral or in bad taste. Includes over a dozen lovemaking positions to try out. For more information about 500 Lovemaking Tips click on the link below

97 Steps To A Happy Relationship

Start improving your marriage and relationships today using these daily tips! Dating and marriage is different than it was twenty years ago. In today’s society, more than 50% of all marriages fail for one reason or another. Just thinking about that makes “commitment” seem scary. It seems that when relationships are faced with challenges, people quit trying. Dating is more like a marathon, trying to date as many people as possible, instead of taking time to get to know someone at a deeper level. For married couples, divorce is not biased. Whether married for thirty years or eight months, the outcome can be the same.


The fact is that relationships, whether dating or married, are hard. Things do not always go perfectly, fighting does occur, and it takes a 100% commitment from both parties to make it a success. Often when people break off a relationship, they feel as though something is missing. The “spark” has gone, leaving one or both people feeling inadequate and unfulfilled. However, even though the odds are not very good, healthy, and long-lasting relationships are definitely possible and proven by many people. Look at Paul Newman and Joanne Woodard, Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman, or Nancy and Ronald Regan.


What secrets do they possess? The answer is that they all work hard at their relationship. They made a decision of choosing to love their mate rather than relying on the “warm and fuzzy” feelings, which everyone knows will fade. By making love a choice you are making a decision that even in the bad times, you stick it out. Think of it like choosing a car. You pick out the make, model, year, colour, and features that you believe are best for you. After driving your car for a couple of months, you realize that perhaps you should have purchased a larger car, or that maybe the leather seats would have been better, or on hot sunny days, the sunroof would have been nice.


However, it is now too late so you choose to keep your car and make it work. It is the same for marriage. Not everything will be perfect and there will be major obstacles to overcome but you have made your decision and now you choose to make it work. There are hundreds of things you can do to better your relationship. To help get you headed in the right direction, I have chosen 97 ways to build, strengthen, and enhance your relationship. Remember, little steps taken every day will add up to big successes.

1. Start Over
When couples first get together, everything is new and exciting. They overlook the little annoying things the other person does. However, after time, the nagging starts, instead of hearing, “You look beautiful,” they might hear “Why are you wearing that shirt?” If this sounds like your relationship, first, the two of you need to sit down and be honest that things have changed. Identify the things each other did in the beginning of the relationship that created the attraction in the first place. Then together, make a commitment to start over. The truth is, both of you will have to work on this.


It will not automatically be easy but it is possible. Start by forgiving each other, forgetting the past, and then start over with the flirtation. Focus only on the special things your mate does and relearn to put the unimportant things aside. It will take some time so be patient.


2. Schedule Time
Spending quality time together is crucial. This time can be with friends, dining out, attending a sporting event, or cuddling together while watching a favourite movie. The activity is not what is important but the fact that you are together, doing something that you both enjoy. People have extremely busy schedules and between work, family, the home, errands, and everything else going on, finding time for your mate can be difficult.

Just as you would schedule a meeting on your calendar, show some courtesy in the relationship by scheduling time with each other. Once the plan is in place, no backing out unless you have some life and death emergency.


3. The Power of Touch
When a child is ill, doctors will tell you that it is proven that a simple, loving touch of a parent can quickly pull the child through a crisis. It is the same for relationships. Playing with your mate’s hair, rubbing their hand, a soft kiss on the neck, a soft pat on the leg or giving a gentle back rub will make a huge difference in how your mate responds to you.

When was the last time you walked up to your mate for no reason and without saying a word, affectionately placed a kiss on their neck? This is not in a sexual way, but an affectionate way. There is a difference. The next time the two of you are sitting in the car, at the grocery story, or standing in line at the theatre, quietly reach over and take their hand. Do not be surprised if you get a strange look of curiosity the first time!


4. Surprise
If you and your mate have scheduled some time for a Friday night dinner, put together a surprise instead. For example, if your mate loves professional wrestling, buy some tickets near the front or if they like concerts, purchase the tickets ahead of time, getting the best seats possible. When Friday night comes around, insist on driving and head toward the location where the event is taking place. When asked where you are going, simply answer, “I have a surprise for you.

I know you love professional wrestling so I purchased two great seats for tonight’s performance,” or “I know we had planned on going to dinner, but I wanted to surprise you with something special. I purchased tickets to see one of your favourite groups in concert.” The idea of you getting the tickets for something THEY like and then keeping it as a special Surprise will touch the heart!


5. Needed Space
As important as it is to spend quality time together, it is equally important to give each other time to do something they like. If your mate loves to fish but you have no desire to bait a hook with little, slimy worms, or if you like to go to the casino but your mate would rather do something different, encourage each other to take time apart. Try establishing a set time for this very purpose, if possible. For example, perhaps you could determine that every other Friday night is “singles” night.

This is not a time to date other people, but to enjoy preferred activities. Remember that you have to place trust in your relationship. If you try this and then drill them, to see what they did, whom they were with, and where they went, then the exercise has failed.

6. No Debates
If you know that you and your mate have proven differences in opinion on certain subjects, avoid those subjects. As an example, if you are a Republican and your mate is a Democrat, politics should probably be avoided. As the two of you identify new topics that could cause a debate session, stop the conversation before it even gets started.


7. Filler Talk
If you are married, especially with children, break out of the habit of talking about nothing. Many times, families will be sitting around the dinner table and the conversation consists of, “Do you like your carrots?”, or “I wonder what is on TV tonight?” Instead, change your strategy to include real questions, showing real interest. Replace the normal, “Did you have a good day at work?” with “Tell me what you did at work today.” Even if you do not understand everything being said, listen with interest. It is not that you are so much interested in the work, but your mate’s life.


8. Re-establish Old Traditions
If you and your mate had a tradition of some kind when you first got together, dust it off and breathe life back into it. Perhaps you met after work on Friday at the local pub for a drink, washed your cars together every Saturday morning, or attended church together on Sunday. Whatever it was, re-establish the tradition.


9. Predictability
If asking couples the factors involved in the demise of their relationship, one of the common responses is that everything in the relationship is so predictable. When rebuilding a relationship, do not be afraid of letting go of boredom. If you normally hate the fact that Saturday afternoons consist of your mate sitting for hours watching football, fix some finger sandwiches and something cool to drink and go join them on the couch, or if your mate spends hours in the garden trying to make things look perfect, surprise them with a new flowering plant, and then help to plant it.

When taking a walk with your mate, stop and give them a soft kiss, say, “I love you,” and then keep walking. Take some chances and do the unexpected.


10. Lighten Up
Often when couples have gone through or are going through some bumpy spots in their relationship, things tend to get serious. It could be that there is a tremendous amount of tension or perhaps they are not sure what to say. Regardless of the reason, learn to lighten up. Do not take every comment, glance, or movement as a serious problem. If your mate makes a mistake, which you both will, let it go, or if appropriate, laugh about it. If you make a mistake, do not be afraid to poke fun at yourself. This will automatically start the process of tension breaking.


11. Communicate
When couples are having problems in a relationship, communication is the first thing to stop. It is often easier to just be quiet than to get mad. When rebuilding relationships, just as communication was the first to stop, it now needs to be the first to start. This will require that both individuals let down their guard and pretty much throw caution to the wind. Healing in the relationship cannot start until you talk.

Make an agreement that you will talk about anything and everything and that you will listen, really listen. That does not mean that you will agree with everything, which is perfectly fine. However, if you do not agree, do not yell, rather, the two of you need to calmly discuss the issue and together, work out a solution. This is hard work but within a very short time, you will both feel much better, individually and as a couple.


12. A Night of Passion
Intimacy and passion in relationships is not only important but also healthy. Couples need to enjoy being together in an intimate way. When relationships are troubled, the last thing either person wants is to be sexual or passionate with each other. However, this is a part of the healing and rebuilding of the relationship and although it might be awkward in the beginning, it is crucial.

Make your intimate time together special. Surprise your mate with a warm bubble bath, lighted candles, soft music, and a bottle of wine, or reserve a nice romantic evening at a local hotel to include a wonderful candlelit dinner, fine wine, and a beautiful room.

13. Dinner Party
Start a new tradition of hosting a dinner party every other month or two and inviting several of you and your mate’s friends. Set up board games that everyone will enjoy, have some light and lively music playing, and plan to have a blast. Spending time with friends in this kind of setting is a great way to reduce stress. When stress is low, couples get along better. This is a wonderful way to interact with each other’s friends as a couple.


14. Happy Birthday
As people grow older, in general, birthdays become less celebrated. Gifts are quickly given, meals eaten, and it is over. For your mate’s next birthday, take some time to plan something very special. Make this a true celebration of their life as a way of showing your love and appreciation. Every person, even adults, like attention and love to be appreciated. Whether a surprise party or not, your mate will be impressed that you went to all the effort just for them.


15. Secret Getaway
Plan a nice weekend getaway to some place off the beaten track where you can enjoy some privacy. A quaint cottage or charming bed and breakfast would be ideal choices. Scout out the area ahead of time and choose a few things that the two of you would like to do in the area but just be sure to leave plenty of time for you to enjoy some alone time. Order a nice bottle of wine or some hot cappuccino and relax in front of the fire! Make this a romantic weekend where you can rekindle your love.


16. Special Greeting
If your mate has to work late and you know he had a bad day, surprise him with a late-night gourmet meal. When you hear him arrive home, greet him in new, sexy lingerie, a warm kiss, and wonderful hot meal. After he picks himself up off the floor, he will fall in love with you all over again for this wonderful greeting.

If reversed and the woman is coming home, after giving her a lingering kiss, have her join you in the dining room where the table is set with soft glowing candles and a wonderful meal. Have an envelope lying by her plate that when opened, she will read, “This certificate is good for one thirty-minute massage after dinner.” This is how you keep romance alive!

17. Just Because
Give your mate gifts “just because.” These do not have to be expensive whatsoever. For example, one woman had a miniature dish collection in her kitchen. Her husband came home and told her that he had a gift for her. Holding out her hand, he gently placed in her hand a miniature porcelain cup with her name neatly written in blue ink. She knew that this cup probably cost no more than $2.00 but the thought that he would take the time to find something she enjoyed, was worth $1 million. The small gifts packed with thought are far more cherished.


18. Say it with Words
Surprise your mate with little notes found in unexpected places. If your mate travels for work, place a loving note somewhere in their suitcase. Perhaps they have a long commute to work. If so, slip a note saying, “I love you,” in their CD case where you know they will find it. Another recommendation is sticking a note on the bathroom mirror so this will be the first thing seen in the morning. Be creative and have some fun with this.


19. Cuddle Time
When couples first start dating, cuddling is usually a part of their everyday existence. However, as the relationship progresses or after children enter the picture, the cuddling stops. Take some time just to cuddle. If your mate is sitting on the couch watching a movie, or laying in bed reading, scoot close and tell them that you just want to cuddle. This makes both people feel secure and loved.


20. Breakfast in Bed
When was the last time you or your mate were served breakfast in bed? Never? On a Saturday or Sunday, when nothing special is planned, get up a little early and fix their favourite breakfast. Include the morning newspaper as an added bonus. Although they may be shocked, you can be guaranteed that this gesture of love will be appreciated.


21. Make the Men Feel Good
For the man in your life, here are some recommendations for making him feel special: Flirt with him in public places just once, leave the toilet lid up lavish him with compliments. Tell him how sexy he is. Act jealous once in awhile, even if you are not. Remind him that he is a wonderful mate, husband, father, whichever applies. Tell him how handsome you find him


22. Make the Women Feel Good
Just like men, woman love feeling good about themselves. These recommendations might help: Tell her how beautiful she is complimenting her on her many skills (be specific) Just once, leave the toilet seat down. Tell her how much she means to you. Let her know that she is your best friend, show affectionate to her in front of family and friend, let her know that you find her sexy.


23. That Kiss
As couples become comfortable with each other, kisses can become lame. Get rid of the pecks and get serious with the kisses. The next time the two of you greet each other, enjoy your kiss and do not be so quick to stop. While there are appropriate times for serious kissing, they should be loving, sincere, and passionate, regardless of how long they last. You will find that as you pay attention to your kissing and let your mate know that you enjoy kissing them, you will both feel better about your relationship.


24. Be Kind to One Another
Unbelievably, kindness is often over simplified. Even good relationships can lack acts of kindness. This refers to “Do unto others…” Simple acts of kindness can have huge impacts on a relationship. If your husband or boyfriend is out working on the car on a hot summer day, make a thermos of ice-cold tea and take it to him, giving him a gentle kiss.

If your wife or girlfriend has been working at the computer all day, walk up behind her and massage her shoulders and neck. You get the idea. Kindness means looking at the other person’s situation and seeing what you can do or add to that situation to make it better or easier. This is a way to validate your respect for each other. Kindness will go a long way in a relationship.


25. Special Hobby
Find some type of hobby that you both enjoy and then do it together. It might be that you both love refurnishing furniture. Turn this into an adventure of going to estate sales together to find nice pieces of furniture and them refurbishing them as a team. Another option would be if you have both wanted to learn how to ballroom or salsa dance. Take lessons together so you can then go out on the town and dance the night away. This is a great way to make your relationship even stronger while adding in something fun that you both enjoy.


26. Listen – Really Listen
Get into a habit of listening to what your mate is saying. Not the kind of listening that you do when you go out or sit at the dinner table, but a different kind of listening. Have you ever overheard your mate make a comment to a friend or family member about something they really want or want to do? Maybe you heard your boyfriend or husband tell a friend that they would love a certain tool.

For no reason whatsoever, make a special effort to get that for him. You might have heard your girlfriend or wife mention a spa that they would love to try. Again, without any reason, surprise her. This shows that your mate is really paying attention to things important to you.

27. Be a Kid
Do not be a prude. There is absolutely no reason why couples at any age cannot get into tickling matches or wrestle on the floor. Do not allow your relationship to grow old and stale. Understand and accept that it is perfectly fine to be silly from time to time. If you have nothing special planned on a Friday night, rent a few games, order in Chinese, plug in the Play Station, and play games.


28. All Decked Out
Although most people do not get dressed formally to go out, as a special treat, find an upscale restaurant, the opera, or even a ball, where the man can wear a tuxedo and the woman an evening gown. If possible, rent a limousine and have a bottle of champagne chilling before you get in. You will both feel good about yourselves and spending this magical evening together. This is something unique that brings another unexpected twist into the relationship, which keeps things interesting and alive. The two of you will have a romantic night that you will never forget.


29. Showing Love
Although hearing the words, “I love you” is special and important, sometimes you wish you could tell your mate as well as hear from your mate those words, but in special and unique ways. Here are some ideas of how this can be accomplished: Rent his favourite movie, even if it is something you do not like, and plan an evening alone where you can be with him as he enjoys his special treat. When he gets out of the shower, hand him a warm, cosy towel just heated in the dryer.

When you make him pancakes, first pour the words, “I Love You” on the griddle and cook for a minute to brown. Then, pour more batter over the words to create a round pancake. The result will be a pancake displaying those three special words when you flip it over. While he is out of town, wash his car and surprise him by picking him up in a clean, shiny car at the airport.

Take him out to lunch. Have his favourite breakfast on the table along with the morning newspaper. Instead of bugging him to go to the grocery store with you, let him stay home. Display your favourite picture of the two of you on the refrigerator. Buy him a subscription to his favourite magazine.


30. Split the Responsibility
Whether dating or married, weekends are always full of errands and chores. If you find that on the weekend things are lopsided, help your mate out. For example, if there are kids involved and one has a soccer game while the other has a baseball game, at the same time, offer to take one of the kids and your mate take the other. Make this a special time by packing a special lunch or snacks.

Perhaps one of you has company coming and the house needs to be cleaned, laundry done, and groceries purchased. Set aside something you need done and offer to pitch in to help. Simply say you want to help and ask which of the jobs you can take over. This gesture will show your mate that you really care by sacrificing your time.


31. Love Means Having to Say You Are Sorry
If you make a mistake by doing or saying something that is hurtful or damaging to the relationship, say that you are sorry. Many people struggle with these words, even when they know that what they did was wrong. It actually takes a strong person to apologize. Do not wait until you think you have the courage but say it immediately, and with sincerity. Too often when couples argue, there is a long period of silence, which actually makes the anger and tension worse. You need to let your mate know immediately that you made a mistake and ask for forgiveness.


32. Be Yourself
Do not be phoney in your relationship, trying to be someone or something different as a way to please your mate. For a relationship to work, both people need to be themselves and react to things naturally. Just imagine if you are really kind of on the silly side, enjoying life to the fullest.

Then you meet a wonderful person who is much more conservative than you are, because you are attracted to them, you try to squelch your normal vibrant personality. You are miserable and eventually, the person is going to be exposed to the “real” you. You have to base any relationship on honesty or it will eventually fall apart.


33. Maintain Your Health
You might think – what does good health have to do with a good relationship? In reality, it has a lot to do with it. Having a good relationship means having the energy to enjoy getting out and doing things together. To do that, it is important to eat right. When people are tired, they become short-tempered and frustrated.

For this reason, it is important to get the right amount of sleep. Good exercise keeps your body in shape for being adventurous together. Taking care of your body and mind will flow over into your relationship and make you a calmer, stronger, and better-balanced person.


34. Compliment – A Lot
Be generous with compliments. It is very common for people to notice something nice about another person and think about it internally, but never voice it. When in a relationship, compliments are like glue. They hold the couple’s attention and respect. Make sure your compliments are genuine and based on something you see or hear your mate do. If you have a clogged garbage disposal and your boyfriend or husband is able to unclog it, compliment them on being handy.

If your girlfriend or wife takes her mother to the doctor, compliment her on her generosity. The fact is that criticism is destructive and can very quickly tear a relationship apart. Just like the cliché, “If you do not have something nice to say, then do not say anything at all.” This is very true – take notice of the good things your mate does and make it known to them that you see and appreciate those things.


35. Realistic Expectations
No matter how wonderful and flawless your mate seems, no one is perfect. Be careful about putting someone on a pedestal, especially in the early stages of your relationship. Make sure that the expectations you have for your mate and yourself are realistic. There are going to be differences in opinion, and probably some disagreements. Also, do not assume that your mate knows how you feel or what you think about something.

When discussing something important to you, ensure that you both understand the same thing. The reality is that neither one of you is going to know exactly what the other one needs. As long as you do not expect them to read your mind and accept that this is a part of getting to know one another and communicating, you will be fine.


36. Leave the Baggage Behind
Every person on the face of the Earth has some kind of history, or “baggage”, although at varying levels. Do not walk into a relationship with your arms loaded with that baggage. The past is the past. Even though there are things from the past that are hurtful, and even damaging, learn from those things and come out a better and stronger person. This allows you to step into a new relationship with better knowledge of what not to do. Leave the baggage from the past alone, focus on today, and look forward to tomorrow.


37. Do Not Repeat, Do Not Repeat, Do Not Repeat
Learn from your mistakes. When something goes wrong and the two of you work through it, do not repeat the same mistake. Rather than dive right back into whatever it was you did or said, think before you act. At first, this will take some discipline but as you see positive results in the relationship, be encouraged that it is working.


38. Go on a Date
Especially for married couples, but even for some “dating” couples, start dating. Often people become very comfortable in their relationship and sitting around on the weekends, watching movies is about as exciting as it gets. Ask your mate out. For example, actually call them and ask, “If you do not have any plans for Saturday night, would you like to go to a concert with me?” It is crucial to relationships that they keep the fire alive by enjoying the act of dating. There are many people in long-term, successful marriages that will tell you they go out on dates every week, which has been a huge bonus for their relationship.


39. Memory Box
Start a memory box to store old movie tickets, brochures from cities visited, concert ticket stubs, old ski lift passes, cards attached to flowers received, old love notes or letters, birthday cards or anniversary cards from your mate, anything that the two of you did together. Every once in awhile, pull the box out and look at the items with your mate. Reminisce about each memento, and keep all the special times in your life close to your heart!


40. Keep the Kids Out of It
Whether married or dating, if there are kids involved, it is crucial that they are not used as pawns in any situation. For example, if your mate wants to get intimate and you are not in the mood, do not say, “I need to help the kids with their homework,” or if something that needed to be done was not taken care of because you forgot, do not blame it on the kids by saying, “I was taking care of the kids and did not have time.”

In the first scenario, be honest with your mate and tell them that you are very tired and while intimacy is important, you would prefer to make sure the kids are in bed on time so the two of you can have some quality time together. This opens an honest line of communication and does not place ill feelings on the kids, especially since it is not their problem to begin with.


41. Listen to How You Talk when working on your relationship
more than likely you and your mate have settled into a pattern of speaking to each other. It might be with short, blunt answers, heavy sighs as though bothered, or with negative remarks. Pay attention to not only your words spoken, but also the tone in which they are spoken. Be positive, cheery, and respond in a way that will confirm to your mate that you are listening and truly interested – that you have time to listen and communicate. In addition, add terms of endearment into your conversation. Instead of “Goodmorning,” try, “Hi honey, good morning!”


42. Making Love
Intimacy is a huge part of a successful relationship. Choose a book from the bookstore and try to bring a little excitement into your relationship. Do not be afraid to experiment and learn new and exciting ways to please each other. Keeping intimacy alive is healthy and not a bad thing whatsoever!


43. Turn the Computer Off
Often the computer becomes a replacement for a lack of something in the relationship. It might be just surfing, playing games, or getting involved with websites that promote pornography. If you notice that your mate is spending more and more time on the computer, take this as a sign that even if not doing anything wrong, they are choosing to spend the time with the computer instead of you. In other words, use this as a sign that something is missing in your relationship. Start by talking and searching to confirm what it is bothering your mate and then work on making it better!


44. Follow Tradition
Keep some tradition in your marriage, which relates to the vows you took and the fact that marriage is sacred. Treat each anniversary as a celebration of your love and the time spent together. Follow the traditional anniversary gifts and see how creative you can be. The first year anniversary gift is paper. One husband bought his wife a beautiful Chinese drawing on rice paper, signed by the artist, and had it framed for her. Make this fun, exciting, and keep traditions alive.


45. Control Your Anger
Every relationship has difficulties, and sometimes, there can be some intense arguments. For the sake of your relationship and the love you have for your mate, keep your anger in check. First, when people are angry, hurtful words fly, usually not even meant. However, after spoken, it is too late to take them back – the damage is done. Another problem with anger is that the word “divorce” can easily be thrown around. You may not mean it, but you know it hurts, thus making you the winner of the argument.

NEVER talk about divorce in your relationship, even if just teasing. If you need to go to another room to cool off, and then do that, but whatever you do, do not allow your anger to take control of your relationship.


46. Financial Woes
One of the main reasons other than fidelity that marriages fall apart is due to finances. When couples are struggling with money problems, tempers flare, frustration builds, drinking may start, and it is an all-around unhealthy situation. The minute there are any signs of financial difficulties, the two of you need to immediately sit down and figure out a plan on how to deal with the problem. If needed, go to see a financial consultant or a credit counselling service to help you get back on track. Do not allow your finances to get out of line or your relationship will certainly suffer.

47. I Forgive You
If something has happened in your relationship causing the trust to waiver, you will have many things to work through. When your mate has done something that requires you to forgive, you have to forgive, REALLY forgive. Once you have worked through the issue either together or with professional counselling, and you tell them that you forgive them, you can never hold that over them again.

As an example, if your mate has had an affair and the two of you choose to work it out rather than throw the relationship away, once the problems are resolved and the forgiveness is said, it is done! This means that you cannot stalk your mate to ensure they are where they said they would be, call or page them throughout the day, constantly ask for reaffirmation of your relationship, it means that you forgive and put the past behind you and then move on in a new, strong, and healthy relationship. It will not be easy, but you can do it with the right help, attitude, and commitment.


48. Fighting No-No
While having disagreements is normal and sometimes when controlled, healthy for relationships, the place and degree of discussion are important. Keep your disagreements private. Being at a party or anywhere around family or friends and breaking into an argument is a great way to break down a relationship.

Not only does it cause embarrassment for your mate, but it also puts a negative light on both of you from the people witnessing the fight. If you are in public and think you need to argue, at least find a quiet corner or separate room where you can discuss whatever it is bothering you.


49. Strong Family Ties
When in a relationship, not only are you involved with the love of your life, but also the family of your mate. It is important to build a strong, healthy relationship with the families as well. Even if you do not see them often, having a good connection with your mate’s family will make life for everyone much better all the way around.


50. Mentoring
If you know of another couple from work or your church that has been married for many years and continued to have a strong relationship, ask them if they would mentor you. Being around positive influences and watching someone who leads by example is a great way to learn how to have a good relationship for yourself.


51. 12-Month Calendar
As a special gift, have a 12-month calendar created with pictures of special times spent between the two of you. Arrange the pictures to coordinate with the months and then as a Christmas or birthday gift, or just as a special surprise, present it to your loved one.


52. Something Handmade
You do not have to be a world-renowned artist to make something homemade and special for the love of your life. Even making a special, personalized greeting card would be appreciated and show your mate that you care enough to take the time needed to make something by hand.


53. Favourite Meal
If your mate has a meal, that is by far the favourite above everything else, go all out and prepare everything to order. Before they arrive home, put on something nice and a little sexy, light some candles, and have a wonderful surprise waiting.


54. Trip to the Pound
If you and your mate love animals, take a trip to the local animal shelter and pick out a dog or cat that needs a good home. Adopting an animal that needs a home can be a wonderful way to have something that you both can care for and love together. This will open up for long walks, taking your new dog on a walk, or hours of playing with a sweet and funny cat.


55. Day at the Movies
Have a movie marathon some rainy or cold Saturday. Put all your errands and chores on hold and head to your nearest theatre. Hit three or four movies and mix it up. Buy the theatre popcorn and drinks but sneak your own candy in. This is a great way to spend some fun time together, holding hands or cuddling, while sharing some laughs and maybe tears watching a variety of flicks.


56. A Walk in the Park
Spending quality time together where you can talk and just enjoy each other’s company is critical to a good relationship. Plan a nice walk in the park to include a comfortable blanket to sit on the grass with while having a good old-fashioned picnic. Take this time talk, watch other people with their kids, and then just walk around, hand-in-hand.


57. Name a Star
As a special gift, ask your mate to join you outside at night when the sky is black and the stars shining brightly. Point up to the universe and state, “See that star over there? That is your star. I bought it for you.” Then present them with the certificate showing that they do in fact have a star named after them. This wonderful gift will last a lifetime!


58. Coupon Book
Create a coupon book filled with any number you like of 20-minute massages. One day when least expected, when your mate comes dragging in the door tired after a long, hard day at work, present this along with a gentle kiss. Although you are the one offering the massages, if you remain faithful to your coupons and never grumble, your love life will more than likely be enhanced and before long, your mate will be the one giving you massages.


59. Dinner by the Fire
Order in some of your favourite food, open a bottle of fine wine, light some candles, and lay out a cosy blanket in front of a roaring fire. Enjoy feeding each other food, sneaking little kisses in between. This wonderful romantic moment will help build your relationship even stronger. This kind of gesture shows your mate that you really want something special from your relationship and that spending quality time together is a priority.


60. Scavenger Hunt
If things have been a little stressed in your relationship, do something extra special. Start by creating a trail of rose petals from the door to the kitchen where your mate will find a note to go to the bedroom. In the bedroom, have another note next to an overnight bag telling them to meet you at a specific hotel restaurant where you know the ambience is cosy and romantic.

The note should direct them to ask for you at the restaurant where you will be waiting to enjoy a fine dinner together. After dinner and cocktails, gently lead your mate by the hand to a beautiful room that you have reserved for the night. There on the bed is a robe and a red rose. This will do more for your relationship than you can imagine.

61. Photo Album
As a wonderful keepsake, create a photo album for your mate. Include the parents or siblings to come up with some special childhood and teenage pictures. Include family, friends, special occasions, and times of the two of you together. Whenever the two of you feel as though you are drifting apart or taking one another for granted, pull out the photo album as a reminder of the incredible person in your life.


62. The Art of Gift Giving
Everyone loves to be given a gift, especially as a surprise or “just because.” Just remember while giving gifts is a beautiful thing to do for the person you love, there are five key essentials for making your mate know that you are giving just because you love them. First, put some thought into the gift. Do not just pick up something at the last minute so you are not empty handed. Second, make the effort. Even if you have a busy schedule, be sure to schedule time to shop.

Third, give with the right attitude. You give because you appreciate and love, not because you want something back. Fourth, plan what you are going to give. Find something that is important for your mate and not necessarily to you. Finally, add the element of surprise into the gift giving. Using this equation is sure to impress your mate and leave a lasting impression.


63. Family History
Perform some extensive research on your mate’s family history, which will involve some help from the family, and create a website especially for your mate’s family where they can share information, pictures, family recipes, and more! This will take some time and planning but very little money. Myfamily.com is a great site that is extremely reasonable. This will not only touch your mate’s heart, but the hearts of the entire family.


64. A Day at the Spa
For couples where the mother or father stays home and takes care of the children all day long, show your appreciation for the hard work that takes. Hire a babysitter for about four hours and give your mate a gift certificate to a local spa where they can enjoy a relaxing massage, mineral springs, sauna, mud wrap, or whatever special treatments are available.


65. Charity
Find a charity that you would both like to contribute to and give something special in both names. For example, if there is a synergy house near where you live for unwed mothers, go in together and purchase a crib or baby clothes. Another option would be if a local park needs donations, find out what kind of trees they need and purchase a tree together. Make this something special where you go shop together and then present together. These types of kind acts are great for bringing couples closer together and help both people love and appreciate each other even more for their kindness.


66. Thunderstorms
While some people find thunderstorms to be scary, they can also be viewed as being romantic. If you have having a thunderstorm in your area, without putting yourself in harm’s way, sit out on your porch if the storm is still off in the distance, or cuddled on the couch near a large window and just watch the lightening together.


67. Take Pride in Yourself
Every relationship goes through down time. Just because the flame has become a mild flicker, that does not mean you have lost the love for each other, it just means you need to add a little fuel to the fire. When couples have been together for a long time, the makeup comes off, the nice clothes turn into oversized sweats and tee shirts, and instead of cuddling on the sofa or floor, one sits on the couch and the other in the recliner.

Step back in time and start getting dressed up more on the weekends, invite your mate to sit with you on the couch, dance together in your living room to some music, or take a walk, hand in hand. It is important not to let yourself go, even when your relationship reaches a “comfortable” state. By taking pride in yourself means that you take pride in your relationship.


68. No Jealousy Allowed
To have a healthy relationship, caring and concern are fine but when those emotions change into jealousy, this could be the beginning of trouble. Trust is probably the number one element needed in order to have a strong relationship. Without trust, things will quickly deteriorate. If one of you masters something special, receives a promotion at work, or achieves some great feat, there could be a small spark of jealousy on the other person’s side.

You need to talk about this and ensure that any feelings of inadequacies are permanently put to rest. Every person needs assurance at some time or another and as long as you can communicate, things will be fine. However, if your mate becomes withdrawn or irritated, these could be signs that more is going on. Once jealousy enters a relationship, problems are soon to follow.


69. Keep in Touch
If you are in a relationship, where your mate serves in the armed forces and is overseas or in another state on duty, away in a foreign country for school, or separated from you for one reason or another, it is important that you keep in touch with each other often. There will be stress from the separation but by keeping in touch and informing each other of the things each person is dealing with, how they feel, etc., you will not have any break in your communication.

The goal is that when you get back together, you can easily pick up where you left off. This is a very important time to provide each other with confirmation of your love and validation of your relationship. While this will require some extra effort on both parts, keep in mind that the separation is not forever.


70. Host a Halloween Party
Instead of just passing out candy for Halloween, organize a masquerade party together where everyone is required to come dressed up. Include in your party food, drinks, door prizes, and games. Have a few friends provide help you plan this and then go all out. Choose costumes the two of you can wear to enhance each other.

A few suggestions would be to Adam and Eve (wearing skin-toned clothing – no nudity), Batman and Batgirl, Cleopatra and Marc Anthony, Romeo and Juliet, Robin Hood and Maid Marian, or Sonny and Cher. You will have a blast with the planning and searching out your costumes. This type of party is great for good laughs and fond memories of each other, which are important for a good relationship.

71. Special Music
Select numerous songs that your mate would enjoy and have them either recorded on a cassette or burned on a CD that can be enjoyed while driving to and from work. To add a little spice, record a few secret messages every few songs just reminding them how much you love and appreciate them.


72. New Adventures
Arrange for the two of you to try something new together. If you are both the athletic type, enter yourselves into some type of physical competition. If the two of you like the fine arts, audition for roles in a local community theatre. Perhaps you like to travel. If so, arrange for a short trip to some place exotic that you have never been before.


73. Adopt a Family
When the Christmas holiday starts getting closer, locate a family together from your church or local charity services that needs to be adopted for Christmas. Together, shop for the gifts, and have the family over for the most scrumptious holiday dinner. You will both appreciate what you have even more as well as your own special relationship.


74. Getting Married
If your relationship has moved to a set wedding date and the countdown has started, do something unique and fun. Visit a candy store and have 30-miniature candy hearts made, each with a special message of love. Each day, present your mate with the appropriate candy heart. As you get down to the final days before the wedding, they might read something like, “Only two more days”, “Tomorrow: The Big Day”, “I love you, your wife (or husband).”


75. Motivate Each Other
Find a mutual incentive that will motivate both of you to being the best you can be. Find something that you can both be excited about and then attach some type of reward to the motivation. If one of you has had a dream of writing a screenplay, make that your goal and take that on together. The motivation is that when finished, the two of you will take a beautiful, romantic weekend vacation to some exotic place.

The goal could be anything that is important to one person or both and that can be worked toward completion together. Another example would be if your mate has always dreamed of buying an old model car and restoring it do it together and then take a special trip to the Indy 500 as your reward. Yet another example might be to restore a home. Make this a joint project and then as a reward, add a Jacuzzi into your plans. Use your imagination and enjoy the venture together.


76. Embrace Change
There is no relationship on the face of the planet that goes for years and years without change. People change as they mature and view life differently, therefore reacting differently. Rather than get upset with each other over change, embrace change. You may not always like the changes that happen, but do not throw away a perfectly good relationship just because the trail starts to wind. Be patient and encourage new directions while being honest about concerns that might arise.


77. Reap What You Sow
This is an old saying that goes back a very long way but it still holds true today. If you sow love, forgiveness, faithfulness, encouragement, honesty, and acceptance, then that is what you will reap. It is definitely true that what you put into a relationship is what you get back.


78. Board Games
Pick a night, perhaps on a cold winter night, and just enjoy playing board games. This can be with just the two of you, or with several close friends. Bring out the snacks, beverages, and just have some fun. Laughter and fun are important factors in any relationship, for any age. Laugh and enjoy having a good time with good honest fun! You will truly be amazed at what this can do for your relationship.


79. No Interference
Do not allow other people to interfere with your relationship. If family members try to get in the middle of fights or debates, that is definite trouble. You might have friends with well-meant intentions trying to help you and your mate solve problems. Although getting another person’s perspective is not a bad thing, make sure it is when you ask for it. It is very important to keep integrity in your relationship and not allow people to interfere.


80. Adore your Mate
Beyond telling your mate that you love them, that they are special, and having passion in your relationship, you should adore your mate and what they bring into the relationship. What that means is to appreciate and love them for the person they are, faults and all. This is true devotion to your mate and demonstration that you do not take them for granted.


81. Follow Your Instincts
When things are going in a wrong direction, often people will simply keep going in the same direction while hoping that things work themselves out. The result is usually negative. Instead, listen to your gut feelings, your inner instincts. If you believe that something is bothering your mate or not right in your relationship, keep it between you and your mate and work things out as a couple.


82. Be Creative
The words, “I love you,” are always welcomed but why not add some creativity to the way you tell your mate you love them. Rent a billboard in a location where you know your mate drives every day that clearly says, “I love you,” request that your mate’s radio station play a special song and message on his or her way to work, or if celebrating a special anniversary, have a skywriter fly by a ball stadium, park, or somewhere special where you are spending quality time together outdoors.


83. Make Eye Contact
You may not think this is important, but think back to the first time you saw your now mate. More than likely, the first interaction was through eye contact. If you are having dinner during the holidays with a large group of family and friends, glance over to your mate and give them a seductive wink, or if your mate is giving a speech and you are there to offer support, attentively look at them, making directly eye contact and offer a warm reassuring smile. Eyes can say a lot!


84. Learn More about Your Mate
Either find a good questionnaire or create one that does not dig up the past, but focuses on discovering other qualities about each other. One happily married couple did this and the wife, who had been standing by her husband for more than 10 years, discovered that he used to be a competitive ice skater. She had no idea. Guess what they did on Saturday?


85. Change Routines
Understand that every once in a while, it is important to throw an exciting curve into your relationship. If you are in a routine for example of offering your mate a quick peck on the lips before you part ways for the day, try adding a soft, gentle kiss on the neck. You can be assured that throughout the day, that change in routine, is what will be on your mate’s mind.


86. Dance
Finding a nice place where the two of you can enjoy a slow dance is a great way to spend time together, holding each other without saying a word. Keep in mind that to accomplish this, you can stay home and simply move some furniture out of the way, light some candles, and put on your favourite soft music and enjoy some quiet, romantic time together.


87. Sunrise/Sunset
Too often people miss the beautiful miracle of a sunrise or sunset. Schedule time to get up early one morning with a thermos of hot coffee or cappuccino and find a quiet place where the two of you can go just to watch the sun rise or set. Appreciate what nature has to offer and share it with each other.


88. Explorations
Find something they you are both interested in exploring and do it together. For example, if you live in a place where there are caves, make a day of driving around and exploring caves. Be sure to take the right equipment and safety precautions but this puts you both in a position of trusting each other and discovering something new and exciting together.

89. To Tell or Not to Tell
Experts will disagree on how much of a person’s past should be shared in a relationship and while some things probably should be shared, most people lean more to not sharing every aspect of the past. First, it is the past. Think back to how much people grow through the teen years to mid-twenties. Offering unnecessary information from the past is a great way to create distrust, insecurity, and more questions than answers. Be wise when sharing.


90. Respect Privacy
When two people come together in a relationship, each person has their own set of history. There are yearbooks, maybe love letters from a first love, other objects that may not seem important to one person but to the owner, they have a special meaning. It is important to respect the privacy of your mate’s “stuff.” Do not dig through boxes of things owned by your mate out of curiosity. Instead, allow them to bring those things out if they feel it is necessary. By helping yourself, you are disrespecting something sacred to your mate, which is not healthy for any relationship.


91. No Place for Abuse
Regardless of how much you love your mate and believe in who they are, there is NEVER an appropriate time for abuse, whether physical, emotional, or verbal. If your mate shows aggression or any form of abuse toward you, seek counseling for both of you immediately to try to work through things. If your mate refuses to go, even if it is hard, leave. First is your safety. Second, it is possible for people to learn ways in which to manage their aggressions. If this is the case, the life of the relationship has a much better chance of surviving!


92. Open Your Eyes
Do not drive yourself crazy with this, but take notice of how your relationship is going. Open your eyes and take stock of what is and is not working in your relationship. Are there definite things missing or definite problem areas that need to be worked on? Think about it. If you invest in the stock market, you pay attention to what is going on so you can make changes if needed. Your relationship is far more than the stock market but requires some of the same strategies.


93. The Grass is NOT Greener!
Too many times, people get tired of working on the relationship they are currently in and feel that by moving on to another person, they will find greener pastures. This is just not the case. What happens is when you move to another person, things are fresh, new, and exciting just as they were in the beginning of your current relationship.

Within time, that relationship will also start experiencing differences and bumps in the road. Unless you are being abused or your mate is doing something illegal or completely irresponsible, perhaps the efforts you would put into starting a new relationship would be better spent fixing the one you have.

94. Start a Journal
Keep your personal feelings and discoveries about your mate in a journal. This will help to remember what special things he or she likes or dislikes, track the wonderful times spent together, and help you to feel better when you hit an obstacle in your relationship. When things get a little tough, refer to your journal and read through all the terrific emotions and time together and you will find plenty of reasons to make things right again.


95. Be Flexible
Remember that relationships are give and take situations, not competition between two people who love each other. There will be times when your mate is right and times when you are right. When you feel the conversation getting a little on the edgy side with each of you trying to hold ground, do not forget that there can be many ways to accomplish the same task. The result is that each of you might learn something new from the other person. Put your heads together and do what makes the most sense instead of battling for ownership of the solution.




A major turn-off in many situations, not only relationships, is people who have an excuse for everything. Forget that. Do not make excuses in fear of your mate not liking, loving, or respecting you. Be yourself and if you messed up with something, just admit to it. Say you had promised to make dinner, got home exhausted, and just did not feel like making it, do not tell your mate, “I had to work overtime.” Be honest and say, “You know, I got home after a busy day and I was too tired. What sounds better, Chinese or Pizza?” This has taken you out of the situation of lying and reconfirmed your honest nature to your mate.


97. Spirituality
Statistics show that couples that spend time in church together usually have strong relationships. Bringing spirituality into your relationship is important. Allow the love of God to be your ultimate guide and spend time having devotions together at night. If you are just starting out dating, religious preference may not seem like a big deal at first, but soon into the relationship, it can be a big trouble spot.

Make time for God in your life and consider dating someone who shares the same faith! As you can see, relationships take work. However, with the right attitude, a lot of hard work, and some unique ideas on how to make is successful, couples can have a strong, lifelong relationship!

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